NNY vs the annoying door to door salesperson
by catmagnent
Summary: Nny takes on his latest victim: a door to door salesperson.
1. Chapter 1

a.n: lets have fun in the world of torture.

disclaimer: i dont own jthm. wish i did.

nny was bored. he had cleaned out his basement, and tossed out all the dead and rotting corpses. he went as far as to open the windows and let the areas air out a bit.

he had cleaned..somewhat, all of his torture racks, intestine rollers, knives and scythes, and even his wrist and ankle shakles.

he collapsed into his chair and sipped a cold cherry water.

he was tired after all the cleaning, and body dumping.

what else could he do? he looked up and noticed another door to door salesperson walking towards his house, nny was not in the mood to deal with this annoyance. he decided to let the idiot knock until his knuckles bled. then he heard something being posted on his door, and the salesperson walked away.

nny was curious.

"what did the moron post on my door?" wondered nny.

he went to check it out.

it was a friendly enough note that read "sorry i missed you. i will be back by here tomorrow. see you then."

this gave nny the inspiration he needed to devise another torture method. the open wound bleach mix drip. that would be perfect for that annoying pudgy jackhole.

so nny got to work mixing a bleach drip mixture.

half bleach, mixed with boric acid, and insect poison..viper.

"this should do," said nny as he poured the mixture into a gallon tank suspended above a pair of wrist and ankle shakles "that jackhole will serve as a reminder to all, not to disturb me."

so nny worked on making more of his concoction and filled the tank to full, and waited for that annoyance to show back up.

and sure enough, bright and early the next day he showed back up.

nny was waiting.

knock, knock, knock

nny opened the door and was greeted by the salesman.

"good morning sir, " said the salesman with a smile " i represent the howdy dootie cleaning products company. and im selling household cleaners. may i come in?"

nny motioned for him to come inside. and just as he walked a step past nny, he was knocked out cold.

•••••••••a few moments later•••••••••••••••••••

"that should do the trick," said nny as he tried to avoid hernia locking this heavy guy into place in the shackles "now for the fun to start."

nny took his second favorite blade, the clothing ripper, and cut off his clothes except for the underwear.

next, he made some deep and shallow cuts all over this guys body. and once blood began to flow really good..thats when the bleach mix drip got started.

"wha, what the hell?" sputtered the half groggy salesman "what the hell am i doing down here? ow ow ow ow, what the fuck?"

nny stepped out of the shadows and smiled a wicked smile "welcome to my basement of doom and dispair. once here its death for all who enter."

"its posted on the front door, no trespassers. you really should have read the tombstone. its there for a reason you know. why did you choose to knock on my door anyway?" asked nny.

"its mmy job, ow, i have to..shit ow ow fuck..sell so many products to make a living. what the hell is in that water drip?" asked the salesman.

nny let out a high pitched peal of laughter, "i wont tell you whats in the drip, besides its not water. die happy."

and with that, nny turned on his heel and went upstairs to heat up some skettios and grab another cherry water, then watch happy noodle boy cartoons. he was hoping to catch the hnb episode he really wanted to see 'hnb episode 8: the park menace'.

he could hear the screams and cries from the salesman being nibbled on by the rats attracted to the blood, and the screams of pain from the bleach drip hitting those open wounds.

nny laughed some more. he turned up the tv volume and munched happily on his skettios, sipped his cherry water, and watched hnb episode 8.

nobody ever bothered nny again. unless they cant read. then theyre doomed.


	2. the hero

a.n: i decided to get nny to be a "hero" for a change to one little kid..todd, his next door neighbor.

disclaimer: i dont own jthm. i wish i did.

"that last one sure was fun," said nny as he scooped up the remaining bones and scraps of clothes and put them out for trash "wonder what else is going to float my way that i can do."

just then, a noise from next door caught his attention.

"you little turd stain, get outta my sight!" was what nny over heard, then came the soft sobs of a small child from outside. nny peeked over the fence and saw a small boy sitting under his bedroom window sobbing into his stuffed bear.

"whats wrong," said nny as he thought hard about remembering the boys name "todd? is your name todd?" asked nny unsure.

"**sob** yes." was the reply.

nny motioned for todd to come over and sit in his living room, he wanted details.

"so what gives todd? why do i always hear shouting and cursing from your house, and most of it directed at you?" asked nny curiously.

"mommy and daddy dont like me much. they always say i ask for too many things , and they say i should never have been born. they have never hugged me or showed me affection of any kind." said todd before he burst into tears again.

nny hated alot of things. people who wake him on the weekends, people who interrupted his cartoons and tv shows, and parents who told their kids they should never have been born. that got under nny's skin more than a flea bite.

••••••••••••later at supper•••••••••••••••••

nny heated up two bowls of skettio's and grabbed a couple of bottles of cherry water, it was time for happy noodle boy cartoons, followed by the dracula movie, and then dark shadows.

"come on todd, you can stay with me. i have a spare room you can have, plus it has its own bathroom." said nny as he munched on his skettios.

todd smiled at nny "thanks ...dad" .

nny turned to look at todd, his eyes were bright for once and he was smiling. 'did he just call me dad?' thought nny to himself "i can live with that."

nny smiled back, "you can call me dad. im cool with that."

at bedtime,, nny overheard todd saying his prayers "and god bless for taking me in, i hope he adopts me. and show no mercy or love for the ones who call themselves my 'parents'. amen." and nny watched as he crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep.

just to be a man about it, afterall todd called him dad, nny plugged in a nightlight, and gave him a small pat on his head. then pulled the door just closed and left down the hallway.

nny was listening across the way, talking and fighting coming from todds home. he heard todds parents fighting again. this time over todds disappearance, they needed him for their tax write offs. he was a child, not a number, and not a tax write off. nny was going to stop this nonsense once and for all.

he had snuck into todds room, and packed all of his clothes, and a few other items todd would need. he even picked up todds piggy bank. then raided the medicine cabinent and collected a few things. then came back to his home, unloaded all of that stuff and decided to think about the best way to off a pair of horrible parents.

"skin them alive? cut them all over and do the bleach mix drip again? fun but no. torture rack with intestine roller? mmm, possible." nny was deep into his thoughts when todd got up and got ready for school.

"how come you are up and dressed?" asked nny

"today is monday, i have school today" said todd "are you going to walk me to school?"

"sure. i will take you to school. and even pick you up. when do you get out of school?" asked nny.

"i get out at 3:05pm" said todd with a semi tired smile.

nny told todd to go eat breakfast, and wash up. todd did as he was told.

after breakfast, todd got his school books and a couple of notebooks for paper, and nny walked him to school. and on the way back, nny finally thought how to take care of some undeserving people who had the nerve to call themselves "parents". he was going to place them in a special concrete pit and bury them alive. or better yet, knock them out and bleach mix drip them? yes.

nny went over and knocked out both of them. he dragged their bodies to his lower basement, chained them to the wall, cut off their clothing, and began making long cuts, shallow ones, deep stabs, shallow stabs, and open gashes. then he began the bleach mix drip on them both.

the first searing jolts of pain woke them up from their unconcious stupor.

•••••••in unison••••••• "ow, wha..what the fffuck? shit! gaaahhh.."

when nny heard that he turned around and walked out of the shadows, "you two are the most horrible people to ever call themselves parents. todd is fine now. i call him my son now. die happy." and with that, nny turned on his heel and turned off the light,, closed the soundproof door,, and locked it behind him. the gate holding the rats back was opened by the closing of the door, and nny knew it wouldnt be long before he would be cleaning up more bones in a couple of days.

he burned down todds house, and no fire department showed up to douse the flames. the house burned down to smoldering embers in just a matter of a couple of hours. there was rain in the forecast for the afternoon, and it was not wrong. it clouded up and a deluge came right on down.

it doused the smoldering ashed remains of todds old house.

nny went to pick up todd from school, and the pair walked over to the burger giant.

"i want a double cheeseburger happy toy meal with a double fizzy cola, and about five double bacon cheeseburgers and four fries to go." said nny.

todd was happy to be with nny. he had never had cheeseburgers and fries before.

the week went by quickly. nny told todd that his old parents burned down the house and moved away. and they abandoned him. so on saturday, nny took todd to the court house and legally adopted todd as his own kid. todd couldnt be happier.

nny helped todd set up his room, and he even put some loose change into todds empty piggy bank. everytime nny killed someone, he put more and more change into the piggy bank. as long as todd helped clean up, he was welcome to the loose change.

and todd was finally happy for once. he had someone that didnt yell at him,, and never beat him for no reason at all. all he had to do was help keep the house clean.


	3. best vacation

a.n: i had to read up on some torture, but most of this comes from my sick and twisted head. •••becareful for some swearing and graphic detail, as i can put forth•••

disclaimer: i dont own jthm. but i love writing about it.

nny was hoping for some vacation time away from the hum drum boredom he was experiencing. todd was on summer vacation and was staying with his mamaw.

so nny called todd's mamaw and told her he was going out of town for awhile, and to take care of todd until he returns. she told nny to have fun. how right she was.

nny went to mazatlan, mexico for a vacation. and perhaps some fun.

nny had just gotten settled in his room, when all of a sudden his door burst open and he was taken away. he awoke in a dimmly lit basement,, and he heard some voices in english and in spanish. one of the men came over to nny and asked him "are you the one that they call 'angry slasher'?"

"huh? what? angry slasher..me? yeah. thats me," said nny "why?"

"we want to see if you are as good as you say. you take on our version of you. killer vs. killer. " said the sweaty, shirtless man.

killer vs. killer.

nny had to think about all of this.

just out right kill people? or torture them to death?

he was fine with it either way. but he had to ask, just to clarify.

"torture? or outright kill?" asked nny.

"oh, i forgot to clarify for you senor nny. you must torture your victim to death. we supply the victims, and you must kill them by torture." said the man with a smile.

"i see. do we get to choose our implements of torture? or are they provided?" asked nny smiling from ear to ear.

"you choose some of the items you want. we give you the rest." said another man.

nny and his protege were shown to separate rooms.

•••••••••fifteen minutes later••••••••••••••

nny had prepared for his first victim. and he already figured it out.

torture rack, with intestine reel. next one, bleach mix drip with rat intervention.

and finally for his third, he would do the chakra torture. painful, yet amusing.

he had to be more creative than his opponent. his opponent was figuring out how to torture someone, when the first screams of fear and pain echoed through the corridors.

"damn. he's already into the torture." said parilo.

nny didnt waste any time into the torture. he got down to business.

nny followed his instincts. he stuck to his plans of quick torture kills. the chakra one,, was fun. the person died before their heart was removed. but he removed it anyway, out of spite.

parilo on the other hand, wasn't having quite the luck he had hoped for. he felt sick, nauseated by the mere thought of taking a life by torture. "only eight more victims to go, come on kill." yelled one of the men in the corridor.

nny popped out his head "i'll take them."

the victims came in one by one as he asked for them. the first was drugged slightly,, and their tendons cut. if they collpsed to the floor they would ingest crushed arsnic capsules. death is instant almost. the second one was chained to the wall and deep gashes made, the bleach mix drip started. the third was chained to a table and a stream of water turned on, the fourth was quick to avoid, but stupid enough to trip over the crawler and got their eyes plucked out, bent over and pants dropped. next came the insertion of a plastic tube followed by a pair of rabid, flesh hungry weasles.

the fifth one- was the fun one. a screamer. nny loved screamers. she was begging for her life. nny was almost going to spare her, but not today. he set her up in front of a little bottle that had a string in it. and one end of the string was sticking out. she was told not to pull the string. but nny was counting on her natural idiotcy to kick in. and it did, she pulled the string. and pressurized corrosive acid shot out in her face. she screamed and howled in pain. her flesh began to rip in several places and fall off in others.

number six was the dummy of the bunch. and gassy as a natural gas well. nny instantly thought "pressurized methane bomb". he corked the man's bung hole and waited for the fun. pressure was building up. so nny decided to fry number five, four and three all in one shot. he chained them to a wall and bent the gassy spaniard over a table, dropped his drawers then lit a propane heater. open flame, and a huge amount of methane gas..instant flame thrower. and sure enough it happened. the gas bag begged to release his backpressure. and nny obliged. pulling the rope tied to the butt cork, the pent up back pressure came out. and the flame thrower worked. five, four and three were human barbecue skewers.

numbers seven and eight were conjoined twins. oh double your pleasure, double the fun,, and the pain. nny felt like an undertaker that was having the absolute funnest time of his life. how to torture these? nny was thinking quickly.

parilo was having a mental breakdown of epic proprtions. he hadnt killed any of his intended victims. they were scared, and alive. while nny on the other hand was like a kid in a candy store. so many implements, so much to choose from. knives, scalpels, slow acting poisons, chakra implements, rubber hoses for draining blood, torture racks, embalming tools from ancient egypt, intestine reels, rabid rats,, and his favorite of all the other goodies- a fifty five volt tazer. he loved that thing.

now for the conjoined twins- seven and eight. how to dispose of them? taze? poison? or intestine reel? or something else? it finally hit him, since there was two of them- he would do two tortures. genius.

he bent them over and place a tube in each of their bung holes, and set loose the pair of rabid rats. next, he placed them on their backs and got the embalming tools. starting with the brain remover and racing the rodents. he had to see if they would eat the innards and exit through the mouth before he removed the entire brain and eyes. race, race, race. nny won the rat race•••••••yes that was intentional•••••••• and got the brain and eyes removed before the rodents exited the pair of corpses.

parilo was dragged out of his room and given to nny. "take care of this little chicken shit coward. he never killed his victims. let's see whatcha got." said the savvy business man smoking a cigar.

nny stepped back admiring this shaking coward. and then it hit nny, lets see if the tazer works on this piece of shit, and sure enough when nny tazed him, he pissed his pants and passed out. when he awoke, he was strapped to a table and his inestines were all out of his body wrapped around a spiked wheel. he lived long enough to see his liver, spleen, stomach, lungs, and heart come out and then he was just to the brink of death. the pain was unbearable, then he looked down. he should not have looked down, the sight that greeted him was this ••guys if you are a sensitive about your "members" dont read any further.•••••

nny had pulled his pecker and balls out and placed them on a table. then nny took a surgical scalpel and sliced his penis into a curled ribbon. next came the intestine roller, nny had placed a section of the now sliced "member" onto the the roller, and turned it on. the shocking pain seared throughout his entire body. sensitive nerves were jangled and ripped apart, and as the "member" curled around the reel, it took skin, muscle, blood vessles, and then the bladder and other vessels came out, followed by the balls. parilo died of shock and pain

nny had won. it took him only four hours to properly torture his victims to death. he won ten million dollars, u.s. and allowed to finish his vacation.

he came back home three weeks later. and collected todd.

"did you have a good vacation dad?" asked todd .

"yeah i did. how about we go shopping for some new clothes and some food?" asked nny looking down at todd.

"i would like that very much. can we get shirts from hot topic? " asked todd.

"yeah,, they are having a sale on the death collection. lets go." said nny as he took todd's hand.

the pair walked down to the shopping center, for clothes and then groceries on their way home.


End file.
